My menstrual bleed is due to arrive in the next day or so,
So my run today was gentle.
My pace was slower.
Heavier.
I walked half of it,
Tuned in to the inner season of my physical body, emotional, mental and spiritual body.
It’s not often I desire to run during the days right before my period.
But today I did.
The sun was beaming, the air looked fresh and crisp and I felt an impulse within me to soar through it all.
I wanted to touch the earth.
Meet Her, in the thick of her winter, as I was approaching mine.
Whilst out, I asked the earth to reveal to me Her wisdom.
The phase before a period is a wonderful time to optimise receiving.
Energetically, our bodies are getting ready to winter.
Preparing for the death season.
Everything slows down.
Just like the waxing moon, our wombs are becoming fuller and fuller.
Oestrogen levels are at their all time low.
Up until the point on menopause, which brings our right of passage into Crone, this is as close as we will get to her gifts.
Our tendrils of perception heighten.
Our intuition is at its most accessible.
We are typically energetically softer, to receive.
For those who sync with their wombs, this is the time to reflect,
To introvert and contemplate.
To bring your inner wisdom to something, a creative project, a dilemma, a situation or decision you have been struggling with.
I often find it’s this time of my cycle where poetry finds its way bubbling to the surface.
These linguistical threads weave their way through the tapestry of my mind, soul and soma during these slower days.
Allowing the words of the heart to find their way to paper keeps me connected and rooted.
It keeps me sane in a world reaped with capitalism, domination and destruction.
Writing keeps the jugular veins of my soul wide open.
However, in my case today, I didn’t seem to be following the thread of my inner Wild.
But out on a solitude journey.
Following the thread of the outer Wild.
To receive earth wisdom.
Not long into my journey the wind began picking up.
As I was about to pop in my head phones, the bushes and trees beside me began to shake from the wind.
The dry, crisp and cold state of the landscape meant the (remaining) leaves shook with a loud, coarse rattle.
It caught my attention.
Listen, She said.
Listen to me.
I placed my headphones back in my pocket.
I took more notice of her sounds, her colours, her every detail.
Presence
She was whispering
Your presence is everything.
Listen and be present.
I kept my headphones in my pocket.
And allowed the gravity of presence to pull me down into the scared Now.
Deeper into my being.
My ears refining their perception with every step,
every breath.
There was no longer a desire for any other sound than the symphony of Earth.
Just like that, she shook me awake from the trance of mind reality and brought me back into receptive reality, imminent reality, sensual reality.
In this moment,
We were completely at peace with one another.
We were receiving one another.
We were holding one another.
My breath began to sync with hers the way an infant’s breath syncs with their mother’s when laid upon her chest.
My heartbeat could feel Her heartbeat.
I wasn't alone.
In fact, all notions and moans of loneliness were nowhere to be found.
Or perhaps, all notions and moans of loneliness were being so deeply held.
I belong.
In the belly of her impermanence
And the bosom of her providence.
I belong.
////
Much love,
Katy x
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